What happened to me over the last 6 months? Simply put, I'm at a loss for words. I reverted into exactly the opposite of what I was doing the first half of the year. My days have become parodies of themselves and I'm disappointed in what I haven't become.
My never-ending story goes something like this:
7:00 A.M. Get up & get caffeinated.
7:30 A.M. Post news to my site and respond to publisher emails.
8:00 A.M. Go for a run and general exercise.
9:30 A.M. Shower and eat.
10:00 A.M. Search the new job listings. Follow up on sent resumes.
11:00 A.M. Review material for site, make sure my writers are on track and write some material of my own.
12:00 P.M. Lunch & Arrested Development (ironic, I know) on HDNet.
1:00 P.M. Post / Upload video & media for the day.
2:00 P.M. Second run of the day, usually 3 miles.
3:00 P.M. Shower again and start testing new games.
5:00 P.M. Dinner
6:00 P.M. to Midnight: A combination of more job listing stuff, Ebaying, internet surfing, catching up on primetime TV and checking out video blogs.
I'm not saying that I haven't done anything new over the course of the past 6 months, but my days have been dreadfully similar to each other. I did get a promotion at the site I write for, from writer to Chief Editor. I revamped my sister's website into complete Flash. I also got up to NYC for a contracting job with MTV, but that fell apart incredibly quickly due to a girl with a drinking habit. At least I got a free trip up there, to see my sister and stargaze at Vic effing Mackey. I think I've been a help around the house as well during a troubling family crisis.
By all accounts, the gumption that got me to quit my job has rapidly diminished and I have absolutely no idea what to do next. I keep telling myself that I'm going to just leave, which I have the finances for, but I think I lack the courage. I'm the Cowardly Lion and there is no girl in ruby slippers that's going to help me get the hell out of the funk that I'm sinking into. (I credit the OZ references to the horrible Sci-Fi mini-series "Tin Man" that I sat through over the weekend. Boy it really sucked for the cast that they had.)
So that's where I'm at right now. Comments?
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Day 173 - 179: Holy Hell.
Again, I'm doing terrible on the updates. I promise to return to a regular schedule soon. Escaping from one's life is a massive undertaking. But on to the past week:
Friday: I met up with an old high school friend and I went to GottRocks for the first time. We shot pool for a while and caught up on each other's lives. It's a nice little place to chill out, but kind of skeasy at the same time.
Saturday: I snubbed a child trying to tell me about Jesus. I'm amazed that parents force their kids to approach strangers and offer up the word of God. Holy hell, can I enjoy my sandwich and drink out on Main Street without having to read passages of the Bible?! I have no problem with whatever religion people want to practice, just keep it away from me while I'm eating. And don't use a little kid to do your dirty work.
Sunday: I posted something on Craigslist for the first time. Actually, my entire furniture collection. I needed to get rid of everything quickly and that seemed like the best solution. Plus it's freakin' free.
Monday: I managed to complete an entire day of work without doing anything productive. While my old job was certainly super easy, I always had at least one thing to do each day that qualified as work; even for a few minutes. Today, I spent the entire day playing flash games on my computer. What are they going to do, fire me?
Tuesday: Today, I gave a crapload of kitchen appliances to a few people that are less fortunate than myself. I needed to get rid of such things before I make my grand exit and it was certainly more productive than throwing it away.
Wednesday: I never drink too much. In fact, I've always been able to hold my liquor. But not tonight. I spent the late, late evening praying to the porcelain god after drinking far too much vodka at my going away party. That's the first time I puked, caused by drinking anyway.
Thursday: As I woke up on my ghetto yoga mat bed around 11.a.m (the mattress sold quickly), I hopped in the shower and strolled down to Tsunami for lunch. Fuck me if I didn't run into Tabatha. We got to talking for about 10 minutes about pointless chit-chat and she wanted to know if she could call me again.
Considering my current situation, I probably could have been a real asshole and got away scot free since I'm leaving town. But there is no way I'm going to get involved with that crazy, crazy girl again. I told her about my plans to relocate and she was shocked. We parted ways after lunch and I won't be seeing her again thank goodness.
Friday: I met up with an old high school friend and I went to GottRocks for the first time. We shot pool for a while and caught up on each other's lives. It's a nice little place to chill out, but kind of skeasy at the same time.
Saturday: I snubbed a child trying to tell me about Jesus. I'm amazed that parents force their kids to approach strangers and offer up the word of God. Holy hell, can I enjoy my sandwich and drink out on Main Street without having to read passages of the Bible?! I have no problem with whatever religion people want to practice, just keep it away from me while I'm eating. And don't use a little kid to do your dirty work.
Sunday: I posted something on Craigslist for the first time. Actually, my entire furniture collection. I needed to get rid of everything quickly and that seemed like the best solution. Plus it's freakin' free.
Monday: I managed to complete an entire day of work without doing anything productive. While my old job was certainly super easy, I always had at least one thing to do each day that qualified as work; even for a few minutes. Today, I spent the entire day playing flash games on my computer. What are they going to do, fire me?
Tuesday: Today, I gave a crapload of kitchen appliances to a few people that are less fortunate than myself. I needed to get rid of such things before I make my grand exit and it was certainly more productive than throwing it away.
Wednesday: I never drink too much. In fact, I've always been able to hold my liquor. But not tonight. I spent the late, late evening praying to the porcelain god after drinking far too much vodka at my going away party. That's the first time I puked, caused by drinking anyway.
Thursday: As I woke up on my ghetto yoga mat bed around 11.a.m (the mattress sold quickly), I hopped in the shower and strolled down to Tsunami for lunch. Fuck me if I didn't run into Tabatha. We got to talking for about 10 minutes about pointless chit-chat and she wanted to know if she could call me again.
Considering my current situation, I probably could have been a real asshole and got away scot free since I'm leaving town. But there is no way I'm going to get involved with that crazy, crazy girl again. I told her about my plans to relocate and she was shocked. We parted ways after lunch and I won't be seeing her again thank goodness.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Day 168 - 172: Wrapped up in change
Sorry for the lack of updates lately. After I quit my job last week, I've been engrossed in moving on. That basically entails getting my finances in order, searching for a new job, researching places to relocate, and clearing out of my apartment by the end of the month. I've barely had time to breath.
Anyway, the following are very brief descriptions of the new things I have done for the past few days.
Sunday: I donated blood for the first time at a downtown blood drive. I've needed to find out my blood type anyway since my parents haven't the slightest idea.
Monday: I listed an entire hobby on Ebay. Video games have consumed endless hours of my life over the past couple years and made me a hell of an introvert. While I still like to write about the industry, I'm obliterating something that never made me truly happy.
Tuesday: I accidentally disrupted a shot on an amateur movie set because I was in need of some coffee. Some asshole college kid yelled in my direction, but shut up when I stared him down.
Wed: I threw away about 10 30-gallon garbage bags of my life. Useless electronics, stacks of paperbacks, sacks of clothing, piles of paperwork, and endless items that somehow seemed worth saving for years. I'm keeping truly important pieces of my life from now on; childhood memories, gifts I treasure, etc.
Today: The news of my departure went public today and I spent the day fending off folks who were mad I didn't say anything. I'm surprised how many people were shocked that I was leaving. I must have given off the vibe that I was a lifer.
Anyway, the following are very brief descriptions of the new things I have done for the past few days.
Sunday: I donated blood for the first time at a downtown blood drive. I've needed to find out my blood type anyway since my parents haven't the slightest idea.
Monday: I listed an entire hobby on Ebay. Video games have consumed endless hours of my life over the past couple years and made me a hell of an introvert. While I still like to write about the industry, I'm obliterating something that never made me truly happy.
Tuesday: I accidentally disrupted a shot on an amateur movie set because I was in need of some coffee. Some asshole college kid yelled in my direction, but shut up when I stared him down.
Wed: I threw away about 10 30-gallon garbage bags of my life. Useless electronics, stacks of paperbacks, sacks of clothing, piles of paperwork, and endless items that somehow seemed worth saving for years. I'm keeping truly important pieces of my life from now on; childhood memories, gifts I treasure, etc.
Today: The news of my departure went public today and I spent the day fending off folks who were mad I didn't say anything. I'm surprised how many people were shocked that I was leaving. I must have given off the vibe that I was a lifer.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Day 167: Boo!
Today, I scared the living hell out of a runner in the park; completely on accident. It's standard to let someone know you are running up behind them when passing another jogger on the skinny trail out in the woods. I must have waited until I got far too close to her before I let her know I was passing her. She freaked out and did one of those "I've got a spider on me" moves. We both had a nice laugh about it. She must have thought I was a crazy mugger or something.
Friday, June 15, 2007
Day 166: Blew off a coworker
This was a little bit mean tonight. I went tonight to meet some friends down on Washington and got a call some someone I knew from work. I haven't been on good terms with this guy for a while, but made plans to meet up with him later. Anyway, I said I would meet him down on the West End, but changed my mind after I hung up. It may have been the alcohol, but I just didn't want to mess with that at all.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Day 165: No worm for me
Branching out on the alcohol repetiore, I tried tequila for the first time tonight; specifically a tequila sunrise. Orange juice and something else I think. It smelled ridiculously awful, almost like a weak paint solvent. But I did like the mixture.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Day 164: Barefoot leaps.
Today, I went out with the girl from yesterday's update. We stuck around downtown, got some coffee and wandered around the park. I got the strange feeling that she was trying to figure out my dating situation, even though she said she had a long term boyfriend. I remained coy about my status and that just seemed to make her want to know more. The mystery, I suppose.
But on to the new thing. We ended up hopping the giant rocks on the Falls section of the Park. That's something I've always wanted to do just for fun, but never took the time. I have no idea how some people take a kayak down that drop. It's all jagged rocks at the bottom.
But on to the new thing. We ended up hopping the giant rocks on the Falls section of the Park. That's something I've always wanted to do just for fun, but never took the time. I have no idea how some people take a kayak down that drop. It's all jagged rocks at the bottom.
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